Question : I have been in friendship with my present best friend for four years now.

 She was so good and a very helpful when I had a problem. Everybody deserted me but she stood by my side all through the hard times. Presently, I have gotten a good job and am at the same time studying in the college some distance from her. When I inquired if she desires to pay me a visit or come down to live with me, she didn’t show any interest. I think that I am progressing while she isn’t. What possibly can I do to get her to change her mind and come with me?

Answer: 

Your friend is very good. She probably rendered you help without strings attached. She just has a good heart and not many like her could be found. You must be worried that she refused to move with you. Well, she has her own life to live as well. All you could do is to maintain contact with her. You can either email, phone or write her through snail mail on a regular basis. Let her know how grateful you are for the help she rendered to you and show her that you care. Remember to keep contact with her especially during her birthdays and other special days like Christmas. She may finally decide to join you. If she doesn’t, take it as facts of life and if you meet somewhere in future, it would be nice to share happy memory together. Who knows, your friendship then will become much deeper and sweeter.

You can visit the site below for more help but do not hesitate to write back if you feel the need. http://www.therelationshipgym.com/

QUESTION : I am 25 years of age and my newly married husband is 50 years.

Both of us are getting married for the second time. His family and friends are envious that he is married to a younger woman and talk about his ex-girlfriends before me, trying to insinuate a fight. My husband says that they are only chitchat, but it upsets me since I love him.

ANSWER: 

My dear, you’ve got to handle the situation bravely. It is none of their business if you both have decided to get married irrespective of the age gap. What matters is that there is genuine love between you both. Do not give them room to fight. Ignore them and what they do or say. Concentrate on your husband and what you both want for yourself. Pretend not to be affected by what they say and when they notice that you seem no perturbed and moved by their statements, they will quit it. If you have a sympathetic and understanding woman outside the family, it might help to confide in her. Endeavor not to engage into quarrel or argument with your husband as a result of what they say. They will be happy to see that. What more do they want if not to get you both separated!

Question : My boyfriend was diagnosed with depression.

My boyfriend was diagnosed with depression. When we are on our own, he is lovely but in the midst of his friends he usually ignores me. If I grumble, they take his side. He doesn’t seem to notice how offended I get and doesn’t secure our relationship. Some of his friends said that they don’t see our relationship lasting and enduring. I am worried that their remarks could annihilate what we have labored to put together.

Answer: 

Clinical depression puts an unwarranted social shame on those who suffer from it. It looks like your friend is worried about his friends’ disapproval if he displays any emotion, passion or dependency, together with affection for you. Try to talk to him when you both are alone and in a calm tone. Tell him how proud you are of the relationship and how you love to be with him. Also let him know you’d like to show off your intimacy and united pride about the relationship to others especially in the presence of his friends. Try to boost his confidence and let him know that even though he has been diagnosed with depression, it does not mean that he should feel shame or embarrassed about the relationship.

QUESTION : I am almost 20 years of age but my family takes care of me like a baby!

 Hi,

I am almost 20 years of age but my family takes care of me like a baby!

I’m the last born in my family and my parents still pampers and treats me as a baby.  They don’t allow me to take verdicts or communicate my opinions. My sister says they don’t wish to allow me to take decisions or express opinions because they feel old when they do. I had reason to be away from home two years ago, but when my mom got to know that I was going to stay with my boyfriend, she inquired if  I would love to discuss about contraception!

Answer: 

Your sister did not mince or chop up word. She actually hit the nail on the head. Your parents may feel strange about their age and as well hasn’t come to terms with letting you move on to the next stage of your life. They feel somewhat awful about losing their parental control over you. Just try to feel for them and try to treat them with patience. When you are able to do that, it is also a sign that you are matured. One thing you must remember is that you will always be their child. Your attitudes and behaviors will help them to realized and better accept the fact that you are now a grown up and no longer their babysit child. Then; they will have no option than to let you manage your social life independent of them.

Question : My ex boyfriend is unwilling to leave me alone

My ex boyfriend is unwilling to leave me alone. We separated after about a year of relationships because then I began feeling less love for him. I explained to him that I no longer feel attracted to him. After a month of the break of the relationship, he still phones me to ask for the reason. I have some of my properties in his house but I would rather not face the trouble of having them back. What will I do to stop him from harassing me?

Answer: 

Did you tell him why, when you break up with him? If not, I think it is the right time for you to do it. Put it into writings but remember to be polite. Tell him that you appreciate the 1 year that you have spent together but that at this point you are not ready yet for a commitment and that you want to have private time to really think about your life and want you want to do and be. Try not to promise him to be just friends at the moment because things may escalate. Send him your good wishes. Forfeiting those things you have in his house will be a good idea.

QUESTION : I am not happy with my weight

I am 23 years of age. I imagine I am disgustingly thin. It’s extremely hard to hit upon clothes that fit my shape let alone appear nice. I make efforts to eat healthy and sound but because I do shift work, sometimes I find it very tasking to keep to the routine. My doctor says that I am ok and physically fit, but I’m miserable and unhappy.

ANSWER: 

Oh dear, you are definitely obsessed about weight. I would be more concerned if the doctor says that your weight is unhealthy. What it means is that you may have underlying personal issues that may not be tied down to just weight. Your shift work which you blame for not eating well may probably not be your problem. Try to search your mind to know exactly what bothers you. How is your social life? Is it in any way affected due to your petite size? You definitely need to do a more thorough work. Contacting a psychologist or a counselor might be a good idea.