QUESTION
Dear Agony Aunt,
I haven’t shared this kind of thing with anybody before. I don’t even know how to explain myself well but I will try to give all the details that would help you to understand me very well.
I met one man a couple of years ago. We really got into very deep and intimate relationship like what one would normally see in the movies. I factually hadn’t any true love for him but just hated him. I had a feeling that he too hated me but I was wrong, he recently mentioned that he didn’t. Nonetheless, we turned out to be friends recently. We have indeed become really close friends. I have as well developed very deep feelings for him but in actual fact I really do not want to get that close to him. I don’t want to fall for him. This is because I don’t want a situation where he will fail to return my love back.
My friends are of the opinion that he likes me but I don’t think so. He always talks about a girl he likes. I have been disturbed about it and have so much wished to know and meet the so called girl. Sometimes, I wish the girl he is speaking about is me. At other times, I wish that nothing should happen that will terminate our friendship. I am finding it difficult to really take my stand about him .What I am talking about is that it is very clear that I love him, but I want to let go of those feelings. I want to discover who the girl is and these feelings are driving me mad. I am very much in need of help and assistance.
I will appreciate it very much. Please reply as soon as you can.
Confused Love
Dear Confused love,
I’m sorry that you are facing a great emotional challenge at this time. What you explained is normal. Most relationships that began on a just a mere friendship ground end up with deep feelings and emotions. I think it is best rather than guessing who this girl he likes is, you could find a way to inquire from him who this girl he adores is. It may well be you and he doesn’t yet want to be explicit about that. You may be surprised that he may be referring to you. Though it may be difficult to ask but it puts you in a better position of knowing exactly where you stand with him. I must however congratulate you on your attitude towards him. It shows that you are in control of your feelings. Your attitude: if he likes you, it’s good; if he doesn't, your friendship will remain undamaged is a great one. Not many girls will. So, try to pull out some reply from him about what she's like. But if his ideal girl is not you, then take heart! All hope is not lost, you will most likely find a man who will fall for you and who you too will admire greatly for a more intimate relationship.
Good luck!
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